I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
