y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
