I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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