sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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