You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
