nut hugger
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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