last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
