Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Someone came in the potted fern
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
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