In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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