Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
