that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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