So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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