i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
