shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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