my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize