Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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