i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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