her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
