You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize