She is in my trunk
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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