I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
This is my gift to your gina
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm like, not good at living.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
