Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
