Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
