Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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