I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
