he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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