all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
That accounts for only three of the penises
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
