Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
