Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
