I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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