you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
