isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just want nice things and good sex
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
