Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
You can't special order awesome
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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