There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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