There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
