I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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