Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
