Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
