return my video game
You smell like stripper and shame
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
