my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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