you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
