He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
