i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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