Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
