when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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