Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
