she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
4 words: hood of his car
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
