dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
