she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
