I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
