WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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