every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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